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Stop trying to “get it together.” The biggest lie we’re told when we’re growing up is that soon as we’re adults, as soon as we’re in college, finish college, get that job, have that steady income, find that someone special, “find ourselves,” find that perfect house, get that retirement fund, have those children, everything will fall into place. Here’s a secret: it won’t. Every new development in your life, good or bad, big or small, will come with its own very special set of challenges. The sooner you accept that, the better off you’ll be. But the myth is perpetuated throughout life, perhaps now more than ever with happy status updates on Facebook and blushing bride/happy multi-tasking mommy blog posts. What these success stories don’t tell you is what is going on behind closed doors. They don’t tell you that your friend who is so over the moon with her new baby had to apply for food stamps. They don’t tell you that your fantastic, involved professor struggles with depression. They don’t tell you that your happily married friend still has nightmares about her abusive ex. They don’t tell you the cousin who just got that jealousy-inducing job opportunity is thinking of breaking up with his boyfriend of 10 years. What closely interacting with people from all backgrounds on the Internet for over a decade has taught me is that no one “has it together” in the way we think they do. So stop trying to have that as your goal, because you are just setting yourself up for massive failure.
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- posted by:
- lochaberaxe
- date:
- May 29, 2012 (a Tuesday)
- time:
- 10:50:16 (1 day ago)
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Like it or not, fat people are at war. I’m not hyperbolizing or dramatizing. If you don’t believe me, Google “War on obesity”. Tonight HBO premiered its new documentary series “The Weight of a Nation”. On the premiere page it says “Obesity in America has reached a catastrophic level. Almost every aspect of our lives is threatened. The first step toward ending the damage is learning how to fight back.”
I spend a lot of my time politely asking people to please stop oppressing me. I don’t apologize for that, nor do I begrudge it – it’s proven to be a very effective way to create change and I think that people deserve to be given the benefit of the doubt and the support they need to shift their thinking, and it’s a reasonably pleasant form of activism. I will continue to do it.
But I also have to acknowledge that there is a war being waged against me because of how I look, by people who have been given every opportunity to know better. In concert with HBO’s documentary, I received a Tweet letting me know that Kaiser Permanente is launching the “most aggressive anti-obesity campaign in history.”
They know that there are healthy fat people and unhealthy thin people. They know that not a shred of research shows that any method of weight loss works in the long term. They know that research shows us that we could vastly increase health by providing access to healthy foods, safe movement options, and affordable/free evidence based health care. Nobody is obligated to be healthy or thin; however, I wonder how many people would make different choices if they knew they just need 30 minutes of moderate movement 5 days a week? If they knew that people who choose simple healthy habits have very similar health outcomes regardless of weight. What would people choose if they knew they could abandon the goal of weight loss completely and they could still pursue health. America could be a successful role model for giving people access to health, but instead they are choosing to be a failed role model for thinness - waging war on people based on their appearance for tremendous profit and actively blaming the casualties of the war for the war’s massive failures.
Let’s be clear - they are pathologizing a body size. It doesn’t matter if they say that we need to seek solutions environmentally instead of at the individual level, or if they say that we should have “compassion” for fat people – they are still telling people that is is not ok to exist in fat bodies and that they should see fat bodies as a threat to America. There are tons of thin people who eat unhealthy foods and are sedentary (which is completely their right), but as far as the government is concerned, as long as you are thin you’re part of the “solution,” feel free to do whatever you want. They want people to look at me (and you, if you’re fat) and think “She is part of a catastrophe. She is threatening almost every aspect of our lives. The first step toward ending the damage is learning how to fight back against her.”
I say that if they want a war, I will damn well give them one.
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- posted by:
- lochaberaxe
- date:
- May 29, 2012 (a Tuesday)
- time:
- 9:10:22 (1 day ago)
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Who Needs Feminism?: I need feminism because there are too many men who react with anger...
I need feminism because there are too many men who react with anger and behave as though they are being personally victimised when women express that they somtimes feel unsafe around some men, or feel frustrated that some men expect sex in return for kindness or free drinks. Everyone knows that…
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- posted by:
- lochaberaxe
- date:
- May 29, 2012 (a Tuesday)
- time:
- 4:02:14 (2 days ago)
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safe-legal-abortion-is-prolife:
Sad but true Abortion has killed 14 million black babies since 1970.
Somehow this was considered to be a racist billboard and taken down even though what they’re saying is true.
It’s racist because it frames the Black community, and black women* in particular, as violent and dangerous. Are the people who made the billboard concerned about the black community or are they just playing on stereotypes of POC in order to achieve their ends? They are attempting to elicit sympathy and concern for black children while simultaneously vilifying black women (and other people who are able to get pregnant). That’s why it’s racist.
Another problem with this billboard is that it makes it seem as if black women* are being somehow targeted for abortion services. This is ridiculous. It’s true that in the US black women* are disproportionately represented when it comes to abortion. But what anti-abortion advocates either haven’t seemed to figure out (or hope that the general public isn’t able to figure out) is that there is an important intervening variable they’re ignoring: economic status. People with lower socioeconomic status and less stable financial situations are more likely to choose abortion due to the fact that they are unable to afford a(nother) pregnancy or child.
Is there racism involved here? Certainly. And though it may be reflected in the racial and ethnic breakdown abortion rates, it would be an incorrect conclusion to label the existence of safe, legal abortion as the problem. The problem lies in the institutional and systemic racism that keeps black people (and black women especially) in poverty. Of course it’s sad when a person has to terminate an otherwise wanted pregnancy because they can’t afford it or afford to take care of the resulting child. But the way to fix this is not by diverting attention from the real problem by creating a false enemy out of abortion— it’s by attacking the systems and institutions that cause a person to be lacking financial resources in the first place. This includes attacking institutional and systemic racism, misogyny, ciscentrism, and transphobia.
side note: I can’t find the article at the moment, but there’s an interview with the mom of the girl in the picture where she says she was upset that her daughter’s image was being used in this way.
Reblogging for commentary
(via coldeyesthatburn)
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- posted by:
- lochaberaxe
- date:
- May 29, 2012 (a Tuesday)
- time:
- 3:49:43 (2 days ago)
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Sorry if this put a cramp in your scrolling hand.
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- posted by:
- lochaberaxe
- date:
- May 29, 2012 (a Tuesday)
- time:
- 2:39:53 (2 days ago)
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Being touched by a stranger and told that I was beautiful didn’t make me feel more beautiful; it made me feel unimportant. It made me feel like what I wanted – to go from home to work with a quick stop at Starbucks on the way, without being harassed – didn’t matter. What mattered most was that this man had an opinion about me, so I had to hear it whether I wanted to or not. He wanted to touch me, so I was going to be touched, by a stranger, whether I wanted it or not.
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- posted by:
- lochaberaxe
- date:
- May 29, 2012 (a Tuesday)
- time:
- 2:18:39 (2 days ago)
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Religion and Gay Marriage (x)
hey thank you John; i think this is exactly what i needed to cheer me up before my 2-hour long maths exam ugh someone please save me.
(via gtfothinspo)
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- posted by:
- lochaberaxe
- date:
- May 28, 2012 (a Monday)
- time:
- 12:06:53 (3 days ago)
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Not being assaulted is not a privilege to be earned through the judicious application of personal safety strategies. A woman should be able to walk down the street at 4 in the morning in nothing but her socks, blind drunk, without being assaulted, and I, for one, am not going to do anything to imply that she is in any way responsible for her own assault if she fails to Adequately Protect Herself. Men aren’t helpless dick-driven maniacs who can’t help raping a vulnerable woman. It disrespects EVERYONE.
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- posted by:
- lochaberaxe
- date:
- May 27, 2012 (a Sunday)
- time:
- 2:33:53 (4 days ago)
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http://inflatedmoose.tumblr.com/post/23872965001/mouss-e-somepinkfluffy-dinosaur-through-a
”THROUGH A RAPIST’S EYES” (PLS TAKE TIME TO READ THIS. it may save a life.) Reblog this!
It seems that alot of attackers use some tactic to get away with violence. Not many people know how to take care of themselves when faced with such a
situation. Everyone should read this especially each n every girl in this world. THOUGHT THIS WAS GOOD INFO TO PASS ALONG…
FYI - Through a rapist’s eyes! A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:
1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle.
They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braid, or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.
2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who’s clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.
3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.
4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is grocery store parking lots.
5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.
6] Number three is public restrooms.
7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don’t have to worry about getting caught.
8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn’t worth it because it will be time-consuming.
9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas,or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.
10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you’re not worth it.
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POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER:
1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk:
can’t believe it is so cold out here, we’re in for a bad winter. Now that you’ve seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up, you lose appeal as a target.
2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they’d leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would
not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.
3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.
4] If someone grabs you, you can’t beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and
armpit or in the upper inner thigh - HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.
5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy’s parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you’ll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our
instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he’s out of there.
6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using
much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.
7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don’t dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel
little silly at the time, but you’d feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.
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FINALLY, PLEASE REMEMBER THESE AS WELL ….
I know you are smart enough to know these pointers but there will be some, where you will go “hmm I must remember that” After reading forward it to someone you care about, never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.
1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it.
2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans : if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you…. chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or
purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won’t see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.
4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON’T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side,put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE the DOORS , LEAVE.
5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
a. Be aware: look around your car as someone may be
hiding at the passenger side , peek into your car, inside the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. ( DO THIS TOO BEFORE RIDING A TAXI CAB) .
b. If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
c. Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)
6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).
7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!
8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked “for help” into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it’s better safe than sorry.
If u have a heart or compassion reblog this post.
‘Helping hands are better than Praying Lips’ – give us your helping hand.
REBLOG THIS AND LET EVERY GIRL KNOW
ATLEAST PEOPLES WILL KNOW WATS GOIN IN THIS WORLD.
So please reblog this….Your one reblog can Help to spread this information.
I hope you all will Reblog. Lets See how many of you really care for this.DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT NOT REBLOGGING THIS! IT COULD ACTUALLY SAVE A LIFE.
Woah, Is it just me or is that picture incredibly racist?
So it’s not just racist, it’s also full of shit.
http://www.snopes.com/crime/prevent/rape.asp
Go figure.
Signal Boost: This post is racist and full of goddamn shit.
So in addition to the information being incorrect, racist, and continuing the status quo of it being the victim’s responsibility to not get raped, this post on focuses on rape by strangers, ignoring the huge number of rapes perpetrated by people who already know their victims (and could even already be in a state of trust.)
This is some fearmongering bullshit
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- posted by:
- lochaberaxe
- date:
- May 27, 2012 (a Sunday)
- time:
- 2:31:39 (4 days ago)
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I don’t think it’s terribly controversial to note that women, from a young age, are required to consider the reality of the opposite gender’s consciousness in a way that men aren’t. This isn’t to say that women don’t often misunderstand, mistreat, and stereotype men, both in literature and in life. But on a basic level, functioning in society requires that women register that men are fully conscious; it is not really possible for a woman to throw up her hands and write men off as eternally unknowable space aliens — and even if she says she has, she cannot really behave as though she has. Every element of her life — from reading books about boys and men to writing papers about the motivations of male characters to being attentive to her own safety to navigating most any institutional or professional or economic sphere — demands an ironclad familiarity with, and belief in, the idea that men really are fully human entities. And no matter how many men come to the same conclusions about women, the structure of society simply does not demand so strenuously that they do so. If you didn’t really deep down believe that women were, in general, exactly as conscious as you, you could probably still get by in life. You could probably still get a book deal. You could probably still get elected to office.
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- posted by:
- lochaberaxe
- date:
- May 23, 2012 (a Wednesday)
- time:
- 8:31:40 (1 week ago)
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